maybe i just don't understand the word break

Last week at school when everyone asked me what I was doing for spring break, I proudly told them "nothing". I insisted that I was going to enjoy doing absolutely nothing.

Flash forward, who was I kidding? I've never been the person to sit around and not do anything. (Which probably explains why I had a color-coded planner in college). If I sit on the couch watching TV for more than an hour at a time, I feel like I'm wasting time. At first, I was excited to have some time just for ME. Sean's at work all day, Brian's at his parent's house, all my friends are off doing fun things for spring break, so its just me... good ole quality time...

Monday was great. I got up relatively late, had breakfast, some coffee, cleaned Sean's apartment, worked out for a hour, cleaned my apartment, had lunch, read a book, went to the grocery store, had dinner ready when Sean came home, etc. etc. Well in my overriding need to stay busy, I didn't save myself much for the rest of the week. I have lesson plans to do, yes, but I promised myself that I wouldn't work over spring break (meaning I'll do them Sunday). Tuesday and Wednesday pretty much fell into the same routine. Oh and who can forget the lovely banter I've been having with the insurance man about getting my car fixed? (Barring any other disasters.. it will be in the shop tomorrow and hopefully as good as new very soon.)

While I loved a little bit of me time, I think I'm over it for a while. Yesterday I started thinking about what everyone else was doing, started comparing my life to theirs... and we all know that's probably not the most productive train of thought. On a general day, I LOVE the life I'm living. On a day when I have way too much time to compare... I think that everyone is living this exciting life, and I'm a little (okay a lot) on the boring side. Guess that's what happens when you have smart friends. The majority of my best friends from college are either in grad school, or off working in DC, or New York. And it seems like they're off living these fun, glamorous lives. Now I know that coming home covered in paint and boogers is quite glamorous as well, but I can't help feeling the slightest twinge of jealousy. I'm not even really sure why. I already did the grad school thing, I've got a Masters (although it's still in the envelope because I've yet to buy a frame... but that's another story). Maybe it's the nerd in me that misses school, or maybe it's the perfectionist in me that thinks "you should be doing something more", as if teaching my adorable little friends isn't enough.

Which leads me to the thought I had last night.... I want to start volunteering again. The kids that I work with every day are the type of kids I used to volunteer with back in Austin, but now that's my job. I want to do something outside of my job, make even more of a difference. I was looking through Houston Family magazine (yes, I don't have kids yet but I still love that magazine), and they mentioned Camp for All in the summer camp section. In looking through their website, I saw that they have this Young Professionals group...

..."a premier service and social organization comprised of young men and women who support the camp’s mission of enhancing the lives of people with special needs. Through exciting fundraising events, service projects and social gatherings, members strive to increase awareness of Camp For All among Houston’s young adult community, while raising needed funds for the camp and its programs. Members enjoy the benefits of social and peer networking and have an opportunity to develop or enhance leadership skills through committee or board service"...

...and I think that maybe this is just what I've been looking for. I've been needing to make new friends here in Houston, and this seems like a way to make new friends who have some of the same beliefs/values/interests as me, while making a difference at the same time. Maybe, I could even help connect some of the parents in our district with the camp, scholarships... (and the wheels begin to turn).

I'd also LOVE to start dancing again... but that's a post for another day. Off to the gym for now.

mashed potato pants & polka dot hands...

...are the life of a PPCD teacher. I come home covered in paint, glue, marker, food, and miscellaneous other things every day. I deal with dirty diapers, tears, and kids who never stop talking. I get told to "shut the f**k up" and handle temper tantrums that last an hour and involve furniture being thrown, and yet, I absolutely love my job! Yes we have a routine, but every day at work is a completely different day. One day the kids might be angels, the other they may act like wild beasts. But I can promise you this, I never, ever have a boring day at work!

growing pains

Rather than packing, I'm updating. So fitting but funny, since nobody really knows about this thing. In a way I kind of like it; I'm getting it out without really telling anybody (yet).

Moving has become too overwhelming. Probably because it's the first big change I've made in my life in a really long time. I went to college 20 minutes down the road from my parents. I lived with pretty much the same roommates all of college, and kept a lot of the same friends. I went through a lot of jobs, but always had orientation there as a constant. This time around I'm done with grad school, I'm moving to a city where I don't really know anyone, starting a job I don't feel prepared for, Sean's staying in Austin, etc etc. I'm way too organized to have all of this chaos in my life at once, so I feel completely off balance.

And me being off balance isn't pretty. I'm overly moody about everything lately, and I just feel like I'm out of control. My friends are good intentioned and remind me that it's gong to be fine, and that I'm just experiencing "growing pains". And while I know that this is all true, I just can't seem to get it in perspective.

I was going to go to Houston today and meet my principal and take some pictures of my classroom, which I was actually really excited about (probably the first time I've been excited about the move since I got the job offer). Unfortunately, tropical storm (or is it a hurricane now) Edouard has everyone in Houston in a panic, and everything is shut down. I'm pretty bummed because I was hoping to get a lot of questions answered today, before training on Monday. That would've put me a little at ease, at least about the teaching part.

It'll all work out in the end I know, but right now moving is the last thing I want to be doing. What happened to the vacation part of summer?!

i'm not dreaming anymore

If you would've told me a year ago that I would be moving to Houston to be a PPCD teacher in less than a week, I probably would've laughed at you. But here I am, surrounded by boxes in my apartment and working on my teacher website. Funny how things turn out.

I have a masters in special education, so I should be overly prepared to teach. But I'm not. Try terrified. At the rate I'm going I'll be lucky if I make it to my first day! There's so much to do before then and since I don't know where to start, I don't.

I bought a clock for my classroom, and some books, flashcards, some super cute finger puppets. That's about the extent of my planning so far. Boy oh boy..

More later, but for now it's back to packing.