growing pains

Rather than packing, I'm updating. So fitting but funny, since nobody really knows about this thing. In a way I kind of like it; I'm getting it out without really telling anybody (yet).

Moving has become too overwhelming. Probably because it's the first big change I've made in my life in a really long time. I went to college 20 minutes down the road from my parents. I lived with pretty much the same roommates all of college, and kept a lot of the same friends. I went through a lot of jobs, but always had orientation there as a constant. This time around I'm done with grad school, I'm moving to a city where I don't really know anyone, starting a job I don't feel prepared for, Sean's staying in Austin, etc etc. I'm way too organized to have all of this chaos in my life at once, so I feel completely off balance.

And me being off balance isn't pretty. I'm overly moody about everything lately, and I just feel like I'm out of control. My friends are good intentioned and remind me that it's gong to be fine, and that I'm just experiencing "growing pains". And while I know that this is all true, I just can't seem to get it in perspective.

I was going to go to Houston today and meet my principal and take some pictures of my classroom, which I was actually really excited about (probably the first time I've been excited about the move since I got the job offer). Unfortunately, tropical storm (or is it a hurricane now) Edouard has everyone in Houston in a panic, and everything is shut down. I'm pretty bummed because I was hoping to get a lot of questions answered today, before training on Monday. That would've put me a little at ease, at least about the teaching part.

It'll all work out in the end I know, but right now moving is the last thing I want to be doing. What happened to the vacation part of summer?!